…or in the park for that matter.

A 41-year old man tried to have sex with a sit-up bench in the middle of Hong Kong’s LanTian park. The steel benches are full of small holes, just big enough for his penis to go in and just small enough that once he got excited, he got stuck.

Police arrived and doctors were called. The doctors tried to drain blood from his penis (ouch!) to get him loose with no luck. They cut the bench free and took man and bench to the hospital where he was freed after 4-hours stuck to his metal girlfriend.

Image via Wikipedia

The important lesson here for any guy who might try satisfying himself with something other than a female or a fist - one more hour stuck and the doctors say they would have had to amputate (double ouch!).

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The Supreme Court of India ordered the major search engines to stop showing ads for sites offering to allow parents to select the sex of their children:

It was another Indian law, though, which was brought to bear against the big search engine three: namely the Information Technology Act 2000. An Act which Google has had cause to complain about in the past, as both Orkut and YouTube have been sued for copyright violations and objectionable content under it.

In India, there is no escape clause for Internet Service Providers, Search Engines, Social Networks or Web Hosts under the law when it comes to responsibility for published content.

Image via Wikipedia

Amendments to Section 79 of the Act are quite clear about that, the only exception being if it can be proven there was no knowledge of the offensive content or it had been published despite every effort being made to stop it.

From ITWire

Image via Wikipedia

91 year old actor Ernest Borgnine (Cabby from cheesy cult classic Escape from New York) explained the secret of long life to Fox News yesterday morning:

I masturbate a lot.

The anchors tried to play off the stage whispered confession, but the joke was clearly on them as the wiley old man’s eyes lit up.

Apparently thinks have changed since the days of Onan.

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Porn star Jennifer Steele went all out to show her support for freedom of expression.  She got the First Amendment tattooed on her upper back:

Jennifer Steele First Amendment Tattoo

That is really hot - the best of America in more ways than one!

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

URentDVDs, the Netflix of porn, has several of her movies to rent or buy. Sign up for a membership with my referral ID and I’ll get a free month’s membership to bring you some porn reviews and you’ll get a free DVD to keep for every three months your a member. Sign up here with referral ID - 176170-41844.

Just days after dealing with the technical details of the spam attack that nearly crippled this server, we’re facing another kind of backlash - people using it as an excuse for censhorship.

Apparently one of the spam created pages was a link to an Amazon affiliate page selling the work of a “couture jewelry designer” who boasts Oprah Winfrey among her clients and has a blog on Barack Obama’s website where she claims to be a supporter of “civil liberties”.  Now, she’s threatened legal action if I use her name on this website, so I won’t.  I’ll just say this:

Barack Obama supporter and Oprah Winfrey jeweler has threatened to try to shut down this website.

For what it’s worth though, all three of them are public figures, which makes it pretty hard for her to make the case that my use of her name, like theirs, isn’t constitutionally protected speech that no court would touch.

I responded to her email and let her know that any suit would merit a countersuit and, as it would be a meritless nuisance, a request for monetary sanctions against any lawyer who filed it.

So, if you vote, write-in Mary Carey for President because Obama supporters are a bunch of would be censors.

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Over the last two weeks spammers created over 8000 splogs on this server in direct violation of this plainly posted TOS from the front page of the site:

6. Don’t spam, splog, or scrape.

Since the WordPressmu software used to create the site only allowed me to mark 60 at a time as spam and didn’t have any capacity for automatically marking the others created from the same email domains/ip addresses, etc. I deleted the database and software.  I’ve reinstalled this front page as a standard WordPress blog.  What’s this mean for you?

First, if you are an existing user who signed up before two weeks ago, I did copy your blog posts.  I will recreate your account as a new standard WordPress blog and email you over the next few days.  If you need access before I get to you, let me know.

Second, if you didn’t have an account but want one - you’ll have to ask.  The old system allowed for automatic signups of which there were less than 10 legitimate signups in over a year and over 8,000 splogs in two weeks.  That’s not a good ratio.  I’ll post details in the next few days about how to sign up, but in the meantime just shoot me a contact form.

Sorry for the inconvenience.